The Blues fell two goals behind within 12 minutes after David Luiz turned the ball into his own net and Robin van Persie fired home.
But Di Matteo’s men battled back to level the score, with Juan Mata curling in a superb free-kick, before Ramires headed past David De Gea shortly after half-time.
However, Branislav Ivanovic was shown a straight red card for bringing down Ashley Young in front of goal, before Torres was given his marching orders for simulation after clashing with Jonny Evans.
Sir Alex Ferguson’s men then grabbed a 75th-minute winner through substitute Javier Hernandez to close the gap on the league leaders to just one point.
“It’s quite obvious in the eyes of everybody that the second yellow for Fernando wasn’t one, it was a foul for us, he should have booked Evans and the decisive goal was offside,” said Di Matteo. “It’s a shame the game has to be decided in that manner by the officials.
“Whatever [Ferguson] says, it was a foul in our favour and Fernando put the ball between Evans’s legs, was through and was kicked on the shin and went down. It’s a foul and a booking for the other player, not for our player.
“We’re massively disappointed that these key decisions were wrong it always seems to be in favour of the opposition and it’s a massive disadvantage for us.
“At 2-2 we looked like the team that were probably going to win the game so it’s a shame. It was a good game of football with two good teams and the officials ruined it.
“They are under a lot of pressure and they have to be able to deal with it. Key decisions have to be right for any team and you don’t want the referees to be a big influence. Let the teams play a good game of football against each other. That’s what everyone wants.”
ENHANCED ODDS: Get 10/1 on Arsenal to beat Chelsea