Comedian Russell Brand talks David Moyes, Man United & Everton

British comedian Russell Brand writes an entertaining Guardian column on Manchester United's sacking of David Moyes

Just about every former footballer has waded in with an opinion on David Moyes’s sacking, and Russell Brand has joined the masses by giving his elaborate thoughts on Manchester United’s decision to axe their manager.

Brand, who is a self-professed West Ham United supporter, likened Sir Alex Ferguson’s decision to appoint Moyes as his successor at Old Trafford to the British comedian picking his ex-girlfriend’s next partner.

The 38-year-old also gave his colourful opinions on the new interim United manager Ryan Giggs and current Everton boss Roberto Martinez, whose side are 12 points ahead of the Red Devils.

You can check out the full column here, whilst we’ve listed some of our favourite remarks below.

Brand on Ferguson picking Moyes: Sir Alex Ferguson’s selection of the “chosen one” now looks less like John the Baptist heralding Christ and more like what I would do if invited to select my ex’s next partner; the mendacious dispatch of a castrated chump to grimly jiggle with futile pumps upon Man United’s bone-dry, trophy-bare mound.

Brand on Giggs: Giggs, whose untapped managerial prowess evaded Ferguson when he was asked to nominate a successor, the nearest approximation of an Anfield boot-room appointment considered instead to be the translucent Moyes, a pale imitation of himself, so pale in fact his impotent palpitations could be witnessed on a vascular level as United throbbed to a final flaccid loss at Goodison Park.

Brand on what is United: “What is it then that is United? Who do we sing those songs for? In whose name do we curse or chant? It is the union itself that is sacred. Every single component of the game is a commodity. The players, the pitches, the shirts, the gel they put in their hair. But no one can pay me to support another team.”

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