Eldin Jakupovic (£4.0m): This column briefly toyed with the idea of sacking it all off and simply submitting the words ‘Told you so’ this week. Ben Foster – ten points. Victor Moses – seven. Ayoze Perez – eight in 45 minutes. Per Mertesacker – well, two, but Calum Chambers scored for Arsenal, so it was basically half right. But this column has responsibilities, to its editor and of course to you, dear reader. Let’s see now (*column closes eyes and lowers pin in direction of fixture list*) – Hull clean sheet against Burnley?
Phil Jagielka (£5.6m): We could just give you Leighton Baines again. But we have a suspicion we’ve already done that at least twice this season, and frankly, if you haven’t got Leighton Baines in your team, we’re not sure you’re doing this right. Phil Jagielka may already have equalled his most prolific goalscoring season since 2006/7, but with Everton starting to look up the table again and facing Sunderland and Hull over the next few weeks, he looks like a pretty solid bet for your back line.
Federico Fernández (£5.0m): Behind Southampton – and we’re definitely running out of new Southampton defensive recommendations – Swansea have quietly helped themselves to the joint second-best defensive record in the league. A clean sheet against Arsenal isn’t out of the question, and after Manchester City next week, the Swans’ fixture list eases again. This might be a slow-burner, but you could do a lot worse in the long run.
Marouane Fellaini (£6.3m): Strike while the curly-haired iron is hot! Granted, given the focus and extent of Manchester United’s injury problems, pretty much anyone with more than one functioning limb could be ending up at centre back over the next couple of games, so apologies in advance if that fate befalls Fellaini; but let’s stick to the positives, eh? A goal and an assist in two and a half games. Not too shabby.
Jesús Navas (£7.2m): For a player of Navas’s quality, he does not have the points this season to show for it. He is, however, a slice cheaper than David Silva and a chunk less expensive than Yaya Touré. Particularly with David Silva’s injury, he looks a sure thing for game time, and you know and we know he’s going to pop one in the ol’ onion bag sooner or later.
Roberto Soldado (£7.6m): Yes, we know. But Emmanuel Adebayor is struggling with injury, and Harry Kane seems to be Mauricio Pochettino’s Englishman abroad. Surely Spurs will score against Stoke, and surely one day Roberto Soldado will manage to deflect one in off his backside, or something? Something, right?
Andreas Weimann (£5.3m): Aston Villa have scored five goals so far this season. BUT – Austrian Weimann was a real livewire against Spurs last week, if perhaps a smidgen fortunate not to see a red card through the red mist that descended on him in the period after Christian Benteke’s sending off. After West Ham this weekend (the capitulation’s getting closer…), Aston Villa have Burnley, Palace, Leicester and West Brom in their next five, and we think that, goal drought finally over, there might be a little hot streak coming their way.
Andreas Weimann cares. He really cares. And if you really care as well, you’ll give him the armband.
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